Classmates. Bad classmates, rather. What is a bad classmate? A bad classmates shouldn’t be considered a classmate at all. They do not do their homework, they give the teacher attitude, and they mutter angrily like they’ve been done some great injustice by being told to have a notebook and not whip out their cellphone during class. It makes me want to hit people in the head. Multiple times. With a baseball bat.

I don’t even understand how a person can get so rude! I mean, really, let me take you back for a moment. Way back too my wee years of preschool. Kindergarten, at most, but no later. It was the one and only thing I have ever done that is even remotely comparable to what these “bad classmates” do everyday.

My preschool boyfriend (remember those?) and I were out playing in the yard. Playing by the swings, using knotted up cloths to whack at people’s feet. We were laughing, having all kinds of fun. Because, really if you thinking about it, it doesn’t take much to amuse a 4-year-old. Anyways, there we were wacking at people’s feet when… let’s call him A, the preschool boyfriend, he fell into “my area” of the swing set. I beat him up with my knotted up cloth. I was so impacted by my teacher yelling at me for that one incident that I have never been violent since. That was one time. What happened to these kids? Weren’t they yelled at as children? I don’t understand! How do you have so little respect for humanity that even yelling doesn’t work? Yelling scares the shit out of me, but… maybe that’s just me.

Another extra special quality of the bad student is the inability to stop talking. And then they get offended when a teacher calls them out, denying that they were talking even when their voice is reaching a 6.0 on the Richter Scale!

I really could go on for pages and pages about how I want to stuff the Bad Classmate(tm) into a wood chipper and then feed them to a great white. But I wont! Now I’m going to talk about immaturity in general. Because, really, immaturity is the driving force behind the Bad Classmate(tm).

I don’t understand immaturity. I mean, I could recite the dictionary definition from memory but I still don’t get it. It makes no sense when I see it in action, in everyday life. Why can’t people just not act like idiots? Another rhetorical! I’m good at those. I have friends, you know, who are well over my age and some of the things they say and do make me want to shove them in garbage cans.

You know… I’m not actually a violent person. I could never hurt someone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t think about it, a lot, in times like these.