Now, I know the only reason my blog gets any traffic at all is for that controversial rant that I’m quite sure sends tremors through the hearts of scene kids everywhere. But, you know, I do actually have the power to write other things. Like the little essay I’m about to subject you to.

Several months ago in my science class, we were given the basic equivalent of a free period. We got to run around the room, talk to people, listen to music, generally be spaztic and unfocused teenagers. At the front of the room, our science teacher Grahme is taking requests on what music he should put on from his itunes. I request Led Zeppelin, but somehow David Bowie gets put on. Not that I mind, David Bowie is by no means bad. Then. All of a sudden. Like an anti-music-cultured tsunami, up wanders a kid I hate with a fiery passion (whose name will remained unmentioned) and he changes it to “Ice Ice Baby.”

What were those emotions you felt? Shock, horror? Complete and utter disbelief? Cringing because you thought Vanilla Ice was dead? All perfectly acceptable responses!

Please tell me, loyal minions and readers, that you see the irony in this. Changing from a Bowie song, to a song Vanilla Ice jacked from Bowie. And do you know what happened when I called them on it? Blank stares across the board. The sheer idiocy of my classmates is really often amazing.

You know what I’m starting to think? I’m beginning to think that it’s a ploy by rap label reps to get rock fans into their music. I know it’s happened to me before. You’re flipping through someone’s music, you hear something good like Crazy Train by Ozzy, and then it dawns on you suddenly that it’s Trick Daddy’s “Let’s Go.” Then, as a side-effect to this madness, you end up falling in love with a rap song that you’d otherwise shove away in disgust all because it reminds you of a good rock song.

Now, I’m not putting down rap or hip-hop. I listen to a lot more of it than people expect, actually. What I am saying is that rap artists need to use their own music, because when they don’t you have today’s youth actually thinking that P.Diddy came up with “Every Breath You Take,” and that Eminem wrote “Dream On.”